Friday, August 29, 2014

Why Dreams Fail

                                       Why Dreams Fail

According to a study written in the University of Scranton's Journal of Clinical Psychology, of all the New Year's resolutions made by Americans this year, 47% were related to self- improvement / education. Unfortunately the success rate for achieving those resolutions was only 8% percent.
It's completely natural, that as members of the human species, we're all locked into an never-ending saga of trying to coax success into our corner. We read certain books because we think they'll ease our pain, or solve our problems. We pay costly tuition fees to acquire new knowledge and skills. We line up to sit at the feet of omnipotent mentors, who are remarkably successful in their own areas of expertise, and fork over huge amounts of our hard earned money in return for their products, services, advice and wisdom.
How many books have you read? How many courses have you bought? How many blue prints have been sold to you? How many magic bullets have you loaded into your weapon of instant success? The number of different paths that one can choose from, and the reasons one decides to follow anyone of them in the pursuit of happiness, success and financial freedom, are virtually endless.
The startling truth about these "secrets to success" that we all have purchased at one time or another, is that they in their very selves, are the very stumbling blocks that prevent you from achieving your goals.

How so?
Oddly enough,the answer lies in the mindset that you employ in your pursuit of success. Most people mistakenly believe that by merely coupling the desire for success in their lives with specific tactics as laid out in the form of a book, a lecture, a seminar, or teacher, is the key to achieving unlimited success.

For sure, the information that you bought, regardless of where it came from, is all very valuable , but in the real world, the path to attaining success is determined by your mettle, your grit and determination. These characteristics have to be built from the ground up, both mentally and physically. It's imperative that you posses them if you want to execute all of the prescribed tactics and strategies that will supposedly lead you to success.

Authors of self-help books know that the people who buy their products and services already have the need & desire to: change their lives, solve their problems, take away their pain. If all it took was reading a book, and nothing else, we'd all be happy, free, millionaires, just basking in the sun on some beach in paradise.
In reality most people simply stop their forward momentum after reading the last word, on the last page of their self-improvement books. Few if any, take the time to digest & internalize what they've just read, or to put into practice the knowledge found in these wonderful books. They simply move on to the next next book thinking that everything that they just read will automatically bring success into their lives. You can't buy success like you buy groceries.

How many times have you attended a boot camp, seminar, or self-improvement course when no sooner have you finished it, (usually right in the middle of the whole experience when your enthusiasm and emotions are at fever pitch, putting you in the “I’ll-agree-to-anything-you-say” mode ) when all of a sudden the host makes a pitch to sell you yet another product or service?
I equate this to going to your favorite restaurant and ordering a delicious ten course meal, and then just before desert, the waiter tries to sell you an extra fifteen course meal for the next time you visit the restaurant. You haven’t even gotten the benefit of your first meal. It’s still sitting in your stomach waiting to have its' nutrients extracted and beneficially used by your body.

“Dear Kory
I have admired your persistent quiet determination and attention to details. It is more than talent; it's a mature determination. I could do well to apply the same to my life. May God bless all of your efforts." Neil S.

This is a note I got from a gentleman whom I met many years ago. Neil was the custodian of a certain concert venue in downtown Toronto where I was to give a concert that very evening. Unbeknownst to myself, Neil was watching as I prepared the stage for the concert. I spent the better part of that Saturday afternoon, climbing up and down a ladder hanging stage lights, drapping the curtain backdrop, checking the P.A. system, getting my grand piano delivered and tuned. The list of chores in preparation for that concert seemed almost endless.

I was moved by Neil's heart-felt & profound acknowledgement, that he'd scratched on 3x3 post-it note and sent to me in the mail. The fact that someone was so impressed by something that I considered to be a normal everyday routine, was truly moving. I put that treasured note away, with the knowledge that sometime in the future, it would have a direct bearing on my life.
The message in Neil's note churned around in the back of mind for years, and true to my prediction, his words "quiet determination", became the genesis of my transition from composer/songwriter/musician, to author and keynote artist.
Those two simple and profound words, "quiet determination", as Neil could plainly see, are the foundations of my success in life. That's the way that I conduct my life, with "quiet determination" in all things.

I had to ask myself how I came by this mindset for success. Was I a natural genius? Were there external factors involved? Was I in the right place, at the right time? One thing I knew for sure was that I didn't come by it consciously.
In self-analysis, I realized that I am successful at so many different things because of the character I developed in the pursuit of my musical goals.  The skills that were developed in this pursuit is what has prepared me for success in life.

I'm not a millionaire, nor am I loosing sleep over how to become one. I'm not famous, nor do I fain to become a celebrity. Success means different things to different people. We've been brainwashed by the media to think that success is defined by how much money we have, how many things we own. You only have to look at number of rich and famous who are actually miserable, wretched, depressed, and generally dissatisfied & unhappy with their lives. Robin Williams was certainly an eye opener for the world.

I measure my success by the amount of personal satisfaction I have in my life. According to the things that are important to me. Part of my success comes from knowing that I'm in control of my own destiny; knowing that I'm in control of my own time; knowing that I'm content with my modest lifestyle; knowing that the people in my family are safe and sound.
Do I want to improve myself ? Of course I do. Who doesn't. As I said earlier, it' s human nature to want to improve one's position. But at the same time, I'm not denying myself the success that I've already attained.

You have to build success one-brick-at-a-time. These bricks have many names. Some call them attitude or mindset, others will say bearing, temperament, behaviour. Take your choice.
I call my bricks "quiet determination".                                                                                      

 In the end they all mean the exact same thing... "success".

What is quiet determination?                                                                                              
Where is it found?
Is it something you can acquire ?                                                                
Are you born with it?    
Can you buy it somewhere ? 
Is it a secret society ?                                                                                                                                                                                                         

I've made an in depth study of of those two powerful words in the writing of my first book, "Quiet Determination...unlocking the gates to unlimited success! ".  It's a not-so-fictional book about a youngster named Emmanuel, who develops an outstanding repertoire of personal skills, as well as an exceptional character. He accomplishes all of this while taking what seems like normal, everyday, innocent, piano lessons. 

Robert. G. Allen #1 New York Times Bestselling Author of Creating Wealth and The One Minute Millionaire , says, "Quiet determination"... teaches you the secret mindset to achieve your own unlimited success!

In the book we watch the impact that music has on Emanuel's life, following his transformation from a young school boy into a successful businessman. In the end Emmanuel realizes that his success in life is the direct result of the not-so-musical lessons he learned in music class.

It should be well noted that by no means does Emanuel's story suggest that you have to be a musician in order to be successful in life! Heaven knows, there are truckloads of musicians with failed lives out there. 

Ordinary people,despite their background, can prepare themselves to attract unlimited success by acquiring and holding fast to the same mindset and skills that Emmanuel acquired over a relatively short time span in his lifetime. Anyone can make their dreams come true regardless of what they, themselves, think they can, or cannot do. Regardless of what the odds may seem to be. In spite of what others may say.

The important thing is to remember that it takes many, many bricks to construct this building known as success. Attitude, mindset, bearing, temperament, behaviour...they're all human attributes and characteristics.

A person's character can be positive, negative, affirmative, passive, agreeable or disagreeable. Our behaviour and personality are shaped by two different things.
a) the natural set of characteristics/ personality that we are born with
b) what psychologists call learned behaviour

It's important to note that the manner in which you manage, or use your bricks, always dictates the outcome of your dreams and goals, so you have to ensure that your bricks are organized properly, so that your structure takes on the desired shape (goal) otherwise we're left with chaos, confusion, and failure. Human nature demands that our universe remain a consistent and orderly place. In their turn, all structures must be built on a good and solid foundation, if they are to have lasting and positive value.

The foundation I use to build my structure on consists of three main cornerstones.
System: The manner in which I organize or arrange my success bricks
Creativity: Putting my own brand on each and every brick.
Leadership: Keeping an open mind to change

All the knowledge in the world will never give you unlimited success, if you are not mentally & physically prepared to accept success when it comes a-knockin'.

"So many times, we over-think "how" we're going do it, that we do the worst thing of all...we don't do it! Stop worrying about how your dream is going to work. Just start working on your dream. The time will never be "right" or "perfect". And if you've already been pursuing a dream and you're feeling defeated? Get up,get back up. Keep creating...and don't believe your unsupportive thoughts!      Tiamo De Vettori

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